I had two interviews yesterday: one for Service Desk Technician for Umpqua Bank and one for Service Route Sales for Schwans food service. The interview for Service Desk Technician was a 4 man panel interview, and caught me a little off guard. They actually asked fairly easy questions for a panel, and maybe a couple tougher ones. The hours are normally 11-8, M-F and some weekend days (Saturdays), I think they said. They asked what were my greatest successes and what were my failures. I talked about my greatest success, the silent computer project. I didnt really have a failure to speak of, just challenges at different jobs where each job or location is a little different and people tend to put their routers or computers in the oddest places, so I have to climb over stuff that looks like it came out of a hoarder episode to get to their computer equipment. So most of the questions were along those lines. I felt pretty good about the interview, after the interview I thought of things that I could have said and added to the interview but didnt think of it till too late, like I am very familiar with most of Microsoft office and can type 50-60 words per minute with relative ease.

      In contrast to the interview with Umpqua Bank, I had an interview with Schwans food service. It started at 2pm, and I found the place behind some machine shop in Arcata, in some unlabeled building that had no signage indicating that it was Schwans. I started opening the unlocked door to "Suite 1" and a Bradley, a medium sized individual with dirty blonde hair and a friendly demeanor to himself, introduced himself as an employee of Schwans, so I said "hello, I am here for the interview at 2pm" so he says "Hi" and introduces himself and there was another guy, sitting at the end of the long desk with short dark hair that did not introduce himself at all nor did he smile or anything.

     There were only two other desk chairs, and I sat in the middle one, between the two of them. Bradley talked a little about himself and the company and what the position was about. He then said the position is a lot of hours, in fact he said "you would come in at about 3am and go home around 11pm" I did a little quick math in my head, 20hrs? Damn, I thought, how do they get away with such crazy labor hours, that is nuts. Only people with absolutely no lives can do this job. It was at this point I am pretty dead set on not accepting this job no matter if they offered it to me or not, there is no way I am doing 20 hours a day, for anyone, for minimum wage or whatever and some commission. No freaking way. Bradley said he had been working for the company for 2.5 months. 2.5 months? WTH? I thought he was gonna say 2.5 years before he got to the months part lol, my brain did a little skip when he said "months", I was like how the hell did he go from route sales to territory sales lead in just 2.5 months? I can see on their chart, it goes: RSRT (no route rep lol), RSR (route sales rep), then TSL (territory sales leader), DSL (district sales leader) , then RVP (regional vice president) I had to look these up. Anyways, he said they didn't have my resume, so he asked me if I had an extra one on hand. I thought I applied online, they should have had this information already. I even did an assessment test, which I am assuming I passed since I made it to the interview stage. Bradley asked me to tell me a little about myself, and what I currently do. So I did, making sure to make eye contact with the two of them while speaking. After I was done, Bradley asked a few more pretty easy interview questions and I answered them pretty much as I always been answering them at every other interview.

     Then Bradley gives me a little more of a speil of what the company is about and the position, which I am at this point just being entertained by Bradley's pseudo happiness and I am not sure what to name the guy on my left since I dont know it, maybe he is Dickhead? I dont know, but he is about to be one. Bradley explains he is finished and says that is it for the interview, then Dickhead says "No, I have a few questions", Bradley says "Oh sorry dickhead, I didnt know you had some questions for Jude" I turn to him and and smile and say "ok, what would you like to know?", he says "Are you over 18?" I almost said "Are you serious?" but said instead "Yes", then he says "In the past 5 years, have you had a ..." "nope" I said, because I did these questions already online and I knew what the questions were so I knew what the answers were, so he says to me "Dont answer the questions until I finish asking" I was kind of shocked, with the attitude, I felt as if I was being interrogated, or maybe on the witness stand or something.

     This was an interview. Not a crime scene. I thought about telling Dickhead about the finer points of interview giving, but thought fuck this, I am not working for Schwans anyways, so humor me Dickhead. After a series of a few more questions I already answered online Dickhead was done with those questions and started asking me about my home business, things like "how are you advertising?" and "if I googled computer repair, where does your business show up?" I told him I used google ads and advertising for most of my online advertising, I about just had enough of Dickhead so thankfully he was done with his "interrogation" of me and I was free to go.



     Welp, I know what company I am not working for, ever. I am going to report to the regional recruiter Steve Holman my poor interview experience with Schwans.